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The Time Given

Last weekend offered something all of us pray for, whether it’s an audible, breathed prayer or not:

Time with people we love and care for and MISS as the clock pulls us forward

My hometown library hosted a book signing, and Lindsey S. Frantz (a childhood best friend) and I were able to attend, and sign, our newest works. That in itself was a great blessing. To be able to write and share our stories with others. But the best was still yet to come that day.

We had friends and family in attendance, when so many other things were happening in the lake community of Monticello. It meant so much that people chose to stop by and say, “Hello!”

We saw people we hadn’t seen since the days Monticello High School stood three stories high on Cave Street. And that in itself was also like walking into the wonderful past.

I saw teachers I respected and still talk to this day. Vicki York Davis. Carolyn Harris. Betty Hyden. Allyson Upchurch Tucker. Beth Brewerton. And family was there. And best friends. The library gave us a solid 2 hour window. And the reunion saw people staying well beyond that.

Then, the night held more reunions with best friends opening up their home in Somerset and allowing all of us to eat dinner together. And Sunday permitted my wife and I to see my grandparents, for the first time in many years. My brother, sister, and their families were also in town. I was able to see nine-month-old, Henry, for the first time.

Before we left, Mom packed up yellow and green tomatoes from her garden and put them in our car.

We were exhausted arriving in Chattanooga. But the time permitted us to see a microcosm of what I imagine heaven to be. It was worth it.

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5 (Non-)Love Languages.


We know the 5 love languages (maybe?):

  • words of affirmation
  • physical touch
  • receiving gifts
  • quality time
  • acts of service

We might even know the language our significant other prefers? (Props to you if you’re 2-for-2 thus far.)

But, have we considered the importance of avoiding the unlovable opposite of each language?

They are-

  • words of nullification
  • physical neglect
  • avoiding gifts
  • absence
  • selfishly serving self

Just like we can plan, implement, and run to others who say, do, offer, accept, and serve willingly the needs of the ones they love, we can likewise steer clear of those seeking the “unlovable opposites” of this language.

Does this mean we should never give the person a chance?


But, if they have chosen (or we have) to offer only harmful words, abuse, avoidance, not being there, and/or putting ourselves first, then, we should steer clear of that scenario.

Life will be better for all, if we adhere to loving and accepting those in-need.

Do we always have a perfect track record in the love languages?


I might go 2 -for- 5 on a good day. Sometimes I don’t get any of them right.

But, as long as we are mindful of the person we love: spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent, then, the unlovable actions shouldn’t be anywhere close.

It’s one thing to not be a perfect 5/5 in the love language department. It’s another to be unlovable (and intentionally so).

It’s almost impossible to do good, when the other person chooses to nullify a good thing with harmful words and actions.

So, does this mean you should give up on the person choosing to go the opposite way?

Definitely not.

But, the cohesion of having 2 people trying (key word there) to meet one anothers’ needs is so much more beautiful than 1 trying and the other refusing.

Being an unlovable opposite to these 5 love languages is actually more accurately called: hate. And, of course, there’s no room for that in a relationship.

  • To affirm someone means you’ve chosen them for who they are over what they’re not. Nullification says you’re not worth it.
  • To touch someone shows that person they are beautiful to behold. To avoid them reveals dislike (to their beloved and possibly themselves).
  • To give gifts shows extravagance and love. To withhold a gift reveals a lack of worth.
  • To be present shows a compassion for that person. To not show up showcases a lack of excitement in the relationship.
  • To serve a person’s beloved is a physical expression of love. To withhold their service indicates a lack of importance.


Luckily for all of us, God loves even the unlovable moments of our lives. He chooses us even in our lowest moments.

Choose a language to improve upon today. We’ll never be complete masters of all 5 in this lifetime, but how sweet our days will be, if we improve just the slightest in each one.