Angry crying is the wellspring of life. – Anonymous
As a mid-30s male jumping into the foray of parenthood, I’ve witnessed things my 20-year-old self would’ve ran from. For family members & friends wondering where I’ve been –
I’m still alive.*
*No matter what the suffocating mound of Pampers, Huggies, disinfectant wipes, and empty Enfamil canisters behind my closet door suggests.
My wife says ‘Hello,’ by the way and wants to know if you have any good vacation recommendations. We hope to book one for the year 2032. Will Bermuda still be permitting tourists then? Will the polar ice caps make our destination point moot?
We tell folks that our honeymoon lasted 10 years and swear the best isn’t behind us. Regardless of what our Friday night routines tell us. (I’m still hunting for those dang Dr. Brown bottle pieces.)
For any soon-to-be fathers out there, here are 7 things this dad has learned:
Set the alarm 1 hour earlier than pre-Baby days
Wet wipes are the new paper towel
Diapers aren’t Tupperware containers (not air tight)
Happy Mom + Baby = some sleep
Toes will be bent on the bed frame
Keep swearing to a minimum (<2 per day, never in front of Baby)
Sound machines are better than any DJ you’ll find. I recommend the ‘waves’ setting.
I distinctly remember Dad telling me he’d met someone in the fall of ’92. Fresh from the battlefield of divorce, I was skeptical of anything good ever happening again to a seven-year-old.
She lived an hour north of us in a community called Eubank.
I felt the strain of my boat coming unmoored from its place at the dock.
I asked why he wanted to remarry. Weren’t my sister and I enough?
He told me I’d like her, and I agreed to be civil that first meeting.
They went on 2 dates in December and were married by mid-month.
I wasn’t happy, but I could tell Dad was.
Sherry introduced me and my sister to her daughter. We stared at one another across the small living room like detainees awaiting interrogation.
But it didn’t remain that way for long.
Sherry brought out a tantalizing tray of Rice Krispy Treats, and I was weakened – much quicker, I might add, than my sister.
My footing felt uncertain on the steps of this new threshold.
She wanted me to enjoy them. Dad had told her how much I loved the marshmallow-y sweets.
I smiled and reluctantly took candy from a stranger.
But little did I know that I was meeting someone who’d blossom into a fixture in my life for the next 27 years.
Today.
Sherry’s best friend, Becky, stands at the front of Morris & Hislope Funeral Home and relays all the kinds gestures she’s been shown over the years.
Sherry is described as an angel. Someone capable of letting anyone close, just with her eyes.
She is a rock for countless souls descending to pay their final respects.
A Garth Brooks song is playing – The Dance, one Dad and her first danced to at their wedding.
He tells me its the song he heard playing when he left the hospital just one week ago.
Sherry’s pictures are featured on poster boards, and her eyes are penetrating even still across the parlor.
Her smile is fixed in each Polaroid like a singer about to sing a song everyone has come to hear.
Dad’s brother is providing the eulogy and red roses rest atop the casket.
It’s a color scheme Sherry would’ve wanted, Dad said earlier.
The funeral is tomorrow, and while Sherry will be laid to rest with her parents, her brother, even her son, Jason, she will be emblazoned on the hearts of all who can still hear her laugh.
She now sings on that high mountain and her work down here is done.
I had the chance to interview the fantastic novelist, Steph Post, recently. (That’s her with the bow-and-arrow above.) She posts some terrific content online from Florida. I was first introduced to her work, A Tree Born Crooked, on Goodreads. And from that book till now, I’ve been hooked. Or, arrowed. However you want to say it…her writing is top-notch! I’ll leave the clichés alone.
So she took precious time to answer some questions and then she went back to writing more amazing fiction.
Here’s the conversation:
Steph, if you weren’t writing, what would you be doing with all of your free time?
Taking care of more chickens, more dogs, making my art. Though, honestly, I can’t imagine not writing. It’s so ingrained in me, so much a part of my life now. But in-between books, when I’m working on promotion or beginning research, I have a lot more time for my animals and my garden, and my guilty pleasures like playing video games.
Persephone, the chicken Hatchet, the cattledogone of Steph’s print series
Have you ever given up on a writing project?
Not entirely, but I have put projects on hold, which I’ve circled back around to. I started the novel I’m currently working on a few years ago, but I had to drop it at the time. I just wasn’t ready, or even capable, of writing it then. I sort of felt like a failure for stopping work on it, but now that I’m back at it, I can see that I absolutely had to take that break, to ensure that the work went in the right direction.
Definitely. So…In your eyes, what does it mean to be a “successful” writer?
To be constantly working on a book. Of course I want the books to be well-received. I want to be engaged with the literary community and always stay true to myself as an authentic voice. But success measured by outsiders may not always be a constant. For me, it’s always been about the work, the actual act of building a book. As long as I can keep doing that, I consider myself successful.
Do you have a set routine as a writer? Things that work for you?
I go through cycles, depending on what stage of a novel I’m working on. But when I’m really in the groove, I write 9-noon, every day. The hours lengthen at the drafts progress, though. I’m also one of those writers who can only write from home, at my desk, in my studio. I so admire authors who can write anywhere—in hotels, on buses, while traveling—but I’m certainly not one of them.
Your new novel, Miraculum, has garnered some big reviews…Are there any symbols running throughout your novel we should look for? Do readers recognize them?
There are so many symbols running throughout Miraculum and it’s been awesome to see readers catching on to them. In particular, I love to use animals and animal symbolism in my writing. The obvious ones in Miraculum are the fox and the snake, for Daniel and Ruby, as the trickster and the embodiment of regeneration. I love it, though, when readers find symbols, themes or motifs that I didn’t see myself in my own work. It’s always fascinating to see what connections are being unearthed.
Steph, thank you for taking the time to chat. Keep up the great work!
So you’ve written a book and it feels daunting to send it out into the world? Maybe even just looking at all of the options for finding a home for it are causing stress? You don’t want it to end up in the wrong metaphorical hands with a publisher seeking to do it harm. So, what do you do?
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned, as a writer seeking publication over the past few years:
Self-publishing can work
There are several good resources available for making this happen –
Now Amazon even has its own line of publishing platforms you can get picked for and that’s largely how people are gaining recognition and getting 1000s of reviews (books which would’ve never been discovered just 7 years ago!)
1.) A great “agent” resource, especially if you write Christian Fiction is at: Michael Hyatt’s website
2.) If you’ve already found the agent you dreamed of, finding/securing an established publisher is the next step. Please always remember there’s nothing wrong with small, indie, or even hybrid presses. And often, they can supply larger %, offer personal feedback, and run promotions much the same way as larger presses.
One last word – If you have the time (and budget) to attend a conference in your neighborhood definitely block time on your schedule to go. It can be a real boost to morale and help in that ever-so-helpful department of networking. You never know who you’ll meet.
Ex: I plan to attend one in Chattanooga this fall and it previously helped me get introduced to Ron Rash, Roy Blount Jr., and a bunch of other writers who’ve helped me immensely!
Following last month’s update about the release of my next novel, Swimming the Echo (5.30.17), I wanted to give another little update regarding the WHEELMANpaperback version. I’m currently in the works for finding a new cover design for it, and I’ll try to share that look (and its reprinting) soon!
In the meantime, the e-book version is alive and kicking OVER on Amazon FOR 2.99!!
If you travel somewhere, there’s about a gazillion warnings the CDC will throw at you. (I know they’re trying to do their job.)
And airports will inevitably warn you against bringing a contaminated fruit across the border. But, the list is crazy long now.
What was the last one you saw when you traveled abroad?
I think I was asked about 5 times one morning whether I had a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 in my pocket or not. I kept shaking my head and thinking about how much that company probably regrets going live with their product.
Flammable. Watch out! Everyone might die!
And I read signs before we boarded the plane about airborne contagions, and I saw about one hundred (all men) in line to board a plane to Las Vegas with face masks on – not making eye contact with a soul.
And I was asked if I knew whether I was headed to a country with Zika infestations. My wife and I, of course, were.
The cold shoulder of travel. A few lines were check marked by the customs lady. We went West, South, and then more West, unsure of whether a mosquito bit us or not.
The signs in the airport said to take precautions against birth defects, etc., if you came into contact with a disease.
(No wonder Orwell’s 1984 is the most downloaded book online today.)
I’m still unsure of what (if anything) bit me last Christmas. But, like any good American, I’ll wait for the inevitable – for question marks to become periods. For rest to come and end the worry.
They’ve all gone to bed in the beds of their choices. – Dr. Seuss
