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7 Things a NEW Dad Learns

Angry crying is the wellspring of life. – Anonymous

As a mid-30s male jumping into the foray of parenthood, I’ve witnessed things my 20-year-old self would’ve ran from. For family members & friends wondering where I’ve been

I’m still alive.*

*No matter what the suffocating mound of Pampers, Huggies, disinfectant wipes, and empty Enfamil canisters behind my closet door suggests.

My wife says ‘Hello,’ by the way and wants to know if you have any good vacation recommendations. We hope to book one for the year 2032. Will Bermuda still be permitting tourists then? Will the polar ice caps make our destination point moot?

We tell folks that our honeymoon lasted 10 years and swear the best isn’t behind us. Regardless of what our Friday night routines tell us. (I’m still hunting for those dang Dr. Brown bottle pieces.)

For any soon-to-be fathers out there, here are 7 things this dad has learned:

  • Set the alarm 1 hour earlier than pre-Baby days
  • Wet wipes are the new paper towel
  • Diapers aren’t Tupperware containers (not air tight)
  • Happy Mom + Baby = some sleep
  • Toes will be bent on the bed frame
  • Keep swearing to a minimum (<2 per day, never in front of Baby)
  • Sound machines are better than any DJ you’ll find. I recommend the ‘waves’ setting.

2 thoughts on “7 Things a NEW Dad Learns

  1. So raw. So you! Thanks pop! You’re turning out just fine!

    1. Thanks, DP! I feel like Mr. Rogers a lot of days.

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