loving others Archives - Brian L. Tucker

When the clock hits 11:09am/pm each day, I think of my birthday. Is it just me or do you do something similar that you find odd, slightly disturbing?

I’m trying to decide what is normal behavior and what is pushing the limits of neurosis.

(I should probably reserve more than just 1 week to ascertain this.)

But, quirkiness is sometimes just that…a quirk you possess.

Side note: I’m not trying to belittle neurosis and Jung’s theory at all here. So please don’t misread this post and its intentions. Here’s a great article to read concerning mental health struggles.

Rather, I’d like to focus on actions that are more ‘quirk’ than disorder and not to be confused with: obsessive-compulsive, impulsivity, anxiety, phobias, and hysteria.

Things like seeing my birth date on a clock display. Make a wish. Kind of stuff.
Counting steps involuntarily as you climb/descend them at work.
Remembering fragments (or whole passages) of material on specific pages of a book.
Are these nervous ticks? Maybe. But, sometimes they’re gifts as well.

God gives us uniqueness all the way down to our finger prints.

My name is anything but unique, but I’m learning to be okay with that–finally. My height is average. But, there are so many gifts just below the surface, and it might just mean taking a little extra time to look for them in your life.

For you–maybe you have a knack for telling jokes. Or, you can condense large bits of information down into relatable doses for those of us less inclined to remember a dictionary. Whatever it is–it’s uniqueness that only you have.

Picture yourself like Wolverine in X-Men recognizing (for the first time) that he has adamantium coursing through his veins.

That is you. Anything but average.

Your name, your height, your eye color might be like billions of others, and that is a good thing, too. It can make your connection to others even stronger. It, too, makes you relatable.

“Loving God, Loving people” is a phrase you might hear a lot. Your quirkiness makes that even easier. Believe it or not.

As I typed this, I just recognized that I haven’t been letting this be (in my life) what it is: a gift. Here’s to a week of letting that resonate with you. Here’s my church’s most recent podcast regarding ‘Biblical Blunders’ and uniqueness of those being used by God (failures and all). Listen here . Part 3 should be added this week, and it includes even more people to study and note their quirks. Hope it helps strengthen your view (of yourself) this week.

Feel free to share quirks you may have.

Etiquette.

Not a word that gets thrown around as much in 21st century living as it did a few hundred years ago.

Imagine the streets flooded with men wearing top hats and tipping them at passersby to show their acknowledgement and respect for other forms of human life–not just their own.

The act of holding open a door so that others might enter before oneself was a thoughtful gesture but also a sign of dignity and valuing others.

The golden rule: Do unto others…as you’d have them do unto you.

Politeness was a sign of good decorum. It was reflective of good breeding.

Nowadays, when I think of the word etiquette I immediately think up images of where the salad fork should rest in formal dining settings, and where a server stands while pouring drinks for restaurant patrons.

This isn’t really the context of etiquette that I wanted to discuss. But, I’m sure there’s a right way to eat with 3 different-sized forks, if the situation requires it. (Let’s save that conversation for another time.)

I want to just think about the word holistically, and what it used to mean in 1750, when it was derived from the Old French word estiquette: “prescribed behavior” or, just plain, old good manners.

In the southern US, etiquette often became ingrained with societal rules and conventions, and these weren’t necessarily bad things. Sure, the styles of dress, usage of proper English, and day-to-day etiquette were reflective of a much different US, but the overarching message was still the same.

The golden rule applied then like it does today, 3/2/2015. People still love to have doors held open for them, elevators halted, and places in line saved. Regardless of whether someone is wearing a top hat and 3-piece suit or UK ball cap and blue jeans, the hospitality (and heart behind it) is what matters most.

It’s true that a top hat is a lot of fun, and I pray everyone starts wearing them in 2015 like they did in the past. But, I think a person’s heart is still intact in 2015, despite our change in dress and lifestyle. We might not look as good in our day-to-day functioning as our forefathers did, but we haven’t forgotten our etiquette altogether.

The French got something right in 1750 when they pointed out this trait and gave it a name.

Good old manners.

They’re not something that should ever go out of style. Whether you choose to play on your cell phone while walking out into a busy intersection or forget to wash your hands at a greasy buffet, common sense still applies today.

Ask yourself: Am I hurting others with my actions? Think of that golden rule and ask: Would I do this to myself? Truly? Or, am I treating myself as being better than others?

It might make someone else’s day all the better, if you treated them like a king or queen. It will definitely make yours that way.

Tag: loving others

Loving others, quirks and all.

Etiquette.