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The Uncertainty of Travel, circa 2017.

Fun times abound.

If you travel somewhere, there’s about a gazillion warnings the CDC will throw at you. (I know they’re trying to do their job.)

And airports will inevitably warn you against bringing a contaminated fruit across the border. But, the list is crazy long now.

What was the last one you saw when you traveled abroad?

I think I was asked about 5 times one morning whether I had a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 in my pocket or not. I kept shaking my head and thinking about how much that company probably regrets going live with their product.

Flammable. Watch out! Everyone might die!

And I read signs before we boarded the plane about airborne contagions, and I saw about one hundred (all men) in line to board a plane to Las Vegas with face masks on – not making eye contact with a soul.

And I was asked if I knew whether I was headed to a country with Zika infestations. My wife and I, of course, were.

The cold shoulder of travel. A few lines were check marked by the customs lady. We went West, South, and then more West, unsure of whether a mosquito bit us or not.

The signs in the airport said to take precautions against birth defects, etc., if you came into contact with a disease.

(No wonder Orwell’s 1984 is the most downloaded book online today.)

I’m still unsure of what (if anything) bit me last Christmas. But, like any good American, I’ll wait for the inevitable – for question marks to become periods. For rest to come and end the worry.

They’ve all gone to bed in the beds of their choices. – Dr. Seuss